Fishing

This past Sunday was the first time in almost 10 years I'd been fishing. I took my kids and we went to a small pond near my moms house. Using shiners as bait, I caught a nice bass which I guesstimate at around 5 pounds +/-. My second bass was probably around 2 pounds which is still a good fish but not a lunker. Both fish were released right after pictures were snapped. My kids didn't catch anything but they still had fun.

Tuesday after work I picked up some more shiners and went back to the same pond. I also brought my ultralight so I could do some casting while my bait was trying to get eaten. I caught 2 small bluegill before I got into the bass.

Once the bass started biting, I pulled 3 bass from the same spot. One of the bass was a good sized one which was probably pretty close to 5 pounds and the other 2 were around 2 pounds each, a pretty nice haul for a few hours on the pond.

I'm looking forward to next Sunday so I can wet a line again.

It's been a while

I haven't been updating this blog like I should. I have started another blog fairly recently and that has had my attention.

Last August my dad passed away because of cancer. It was and still remains a very painful thing for me. My relationship with my dad has been rocky for pretty much my entire life and much of that is due to my own stubbornness.

My mom and dad got divorced when I was somewhere around 5 years old and he became an alcoholic and drug addict. I rarely saw him or heard from him and I resented him for that. I was a young boy and I needed my dad.

There was a long period in my teens that I was headed down the same destructive path my dad took. I was drinking heavily and doing what ever drugs were available to me. When my mother had had enough of me, she sent me to my dad who by this time was clean and sober and attempting to be a part of my life and I fought it every step of the way. I was put on the airplane stinking drunk after a night of sneaking into a bar with a friend who's parents owned it, he had a key. When my flight landed, everyone had gotten off the plane except me. I was out cold and my dad had to come on board to get me.

This was not a trip I wanted to take and it wasn't a pleasant visit. My dad and I had it out pretty good and while I don't remember telling him that I hated him, my step mom said he took that to his grave thinking that I did. I thought all these years I had said I hated what he did, not that I hated him.

There were many times over my adult life that he attempted to make amends and because of my stubbornness, I didn't allow it to happen. I had been so focused on not being like he was that I failed to see that he had changed.

Sure, we talked on the phone a lot (not nearly enough now that he's gone) and I visited him occasionally and that was definitely not enough. When I saw him in his casket, I realized it had been about 3 years since the last time I saw him.

On that last visit, I feel like we had bonded the most. My grandfather, my dad, and me. We spent an entire day shooting and had a blast, it was good times.

I now carry that guilt of not being there when he needed me most and for not telling him I forgive him. I think he needed to hear those words from me more than anything else I could have said.

I will carry that guilt to my grave.

Here is a picture of that day. I had to photo shop him into the picture because it was just the 3 of us and while I have pictures of him and I, someone had to take the pics.

I love you dad, rest in peace.

In loving memory of 

James Ellis Carpenter III

August 3, 1952 - August 31, 2012

Disappointed

1 year ago my kids moved down to Florida to get away from their home situation with their mother in Illinois and focus better on school. Their grades improved and my daughter is even taking advanced classes next year. Best of all I got to spend a lot of time with them.

Back in Illinois my son was making all the wrong friends. He admits to smoking pot once but he talks an awful lot about getting high. A few months ago he started talking about wanting to move back to Illinois and then changed his mind. About a month ago he decided again that he wanted to move back there. Now they have gone there for summer break and he has no intentions on coming back to Florida. My daughter will be coming back and thats great but I'm affraid that my son is following the same path I did. Hanging out and smoking weed with his friends all day is more important to him than setting himself up for a successful future.

I contacted their alcoholic mother just before they left for Illinois and expressed my concern for him and how he has big plans of getting stoned with his loser friends and she told me "I got this". Apparently she doesn't because I've recently learned that on top of her being a jobless alcoholic, she too is smoking dope...no help there.

The biggest problem I have is that my son will be 18 next month and while the eyes of the law see him as an adult, I don't. He is far from being an adult but there is nothing I can do. One of his favorite things to say is "I'll be 18, I can do what I want."

He wants to get into photography and I was planning on saving money and buying him a DSLR camera for Christmas but not now, not if he stays in Illinois and smokes his life away.

When they moved down here last year, I bought them both iPhones but when my parents go to pick up my daughter, if my son still plans on staying there, he will hand over the iPhone. I would have been happy to continue paying for the service if he stayed here in Florida until he got a job.

4 or 5 years ago, I told him I would pay his monthly subscription to World of Warcraft as long as he kept his grades up and until he turned 18. I never canceled the subscription even though his grades were poor but since he is choosing to stay in Illinois and get high with his friends, he will no longer be able to play after July. Again, if he would have stayed here, I would have been happy to continue paying for it until he got a job.

We had many conversations about his future and how decisions he makes now can and most likely will affect him in the future and every word went in one ear and out the other. What can you do when you give your child all the information needed to make the right decision and they completely ignore it? This has been causing me so much stress lately and it's killing me.

Kids gone for the summer, son not planning on returning.

Well, the kids went back to Illinois for the summer and my son is not planning on coming back. Even after several conversations about decisions you make now affecting you later in life. Apparently hanging out with dope-smoking friends is far more important than thinking about your future so you don't end up with a shitty job that you hate but stuck there because you don't know anything else.

If he decides not to come back, it will hurt but it's his decision, right or wrong, it's his.

Getting caught up.

Well I haven't posted in a long time but that probably doesn't matter much since I only have 1 follower and 0 comments.

Anyway, not a lot has happened other than my overly jealous wife making me delete my Facebook account, delete the videos from my youtube account, and delete Words with friends all because she thinks I am using these things to meet and get with women. Facebook is understandable since many people do use it as a pick-up site, I however was not. Youtube and Words with friends though completely has me stumped and she is just out of control with her jealousy.

I have been out sick from work for the past week with some sort of infection. It happened May 25th and I had been experiencing stomach pains for about 2 days and since they weren't incapacitating, I went to work. It kind of felt like a bad case of gas that just wasn't making it's way out of my body. We got to our first stop in Fort Lauderdale and the pain had increased rather significantly. I ran a stack of totes in the store and then a stack of groceries and then started vomiting. I called dispatch knowing it was a long shot to find someone on a Friday night to come replace me but I had to try anyway. The dispatcher got a driver to come down but it wasn't until about 2am. By this time I was very sick, vomiting, passing out, cold sweats, etc. but my replacement was there and I could take the van back to Kissimmee. This 2 1/2 hour drive took me almost 10 hours to do because I had to keep stopping on the side of the road or at service plazas to vomit and/or pass out. I shouldn't have been driving and looking back, it's pretty amazing that I didn't have an accident. Upon returning to the warehouse the dispatcher on duty had asked what was wrong and I sat in the chair and kind of faded in and out of conscience. He was leaving for the day and asked me if I was planning on staying so I got up and walked out with him. As soon as we got outside I started vomiting and he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital. My first reply was no but when I started vomiting again, he asked again and I said yes. By this time I had been vomiting for about 15 hours and was severely dehydrated and completely out of it. I remember he had to practically carry me to his van and then into the E.R. I gave him my wallet so he could check me in and I passed out in a chair. I remember him telling me that he called my brother and he was on his way and then the dispatcher left to pick up his wife. This was around noon or 1pm. I don't really remember much prior to about 4pm that day since I was so out of it due to dehydration and the pain but I do remember that the hospital put a catheter in my arm to draw blood and eventually an I.V. although that didn't happen until around 6pm, almost 6 hours after arriving. They told me I had an infection but didn't say where or what it was and of the 4 prescriptions they gave me, none were antibiotics. I didn't get any antibiotics until 4 days later when I was able to see a general practioner. Now I have an appointment with another gp doctor that will likely be my regular doctor and we can get to the root of this infection. Now, over a week later and having antibiotics, the pain is nearly gone but I'm still having difficulty using the bathroom. I'm going to try and return to work since I really can't afford to miss any more and hope that all goes well.

Bidding over, stress gone.

Last week we were bidding on routes for the next year. This is my first time doing this and I never realized how stressful it was. I couldn't sleep worth a damn all last week and the stress caused my eczema to flair up worse than ever.

I was the 64th to pick out of 65 drivers so I was really surprised when my first 2 picks were available. They both show as paying $500 and there's no Walgreens on either of them.

My third pick however wasn't good. I wanted a load that went out on Tuesday and when I called the latest updates it reported that there were several loads on Tuesday still available that would fit with my Wednesday load so I was kind of excited. When I called in to place my bid, the guy told me that there was only 1 Tuesday load available and it wouldn't work with my Wed. load. He said there was still 2 Monday loads left and I looked at my route book to see these loads...uggg! Both were horrible. They didn't pay much and they would take 20+ hours to complete but I didn't have a choice...or so I thought.

When I came in Thur. night for my load, I picked up the updated print out of the loads picked and I studied it and realized that there were still 2 loads available on Tue. that would work with my Wed. load. I talked to our manager and then we went to see the guy who is running the bid process. He remembered telling me there was only one load available on Tue. and it wouldn't work with my other load but he also added that there were 2 other loads, either would work for me. I told him I wanted to swap the Mon. load for one of the Tue. loads. The trans manager nodded his head in approval and the switch was made.

The Tue. load I got isn't the greatest but it's on the day I wanted plus it pays better than the one I thought I was getting stuck with.

I am happy now because I got 3 good paying loads for the week and a schedule I am happy with. Oh, and I have finally been able to sleep.

Route Bidding

So, it's that time of year again at my job and I'm finally getting my own routes again. Doesn't seem like a big deal but it is...really. When I first got my CDL and started driving for this company, I had my own routes. They were driver-helper routes meaning I was the driver (paid on a formula) and I had a helper (who gets paid by the hour). These driver-helper routes only work out good if you have a good helper, unfortunately since they are paid by the hour, many of them aren't in much of a hurry. There are a couple that would drag their feet to get 40 hours in 3 days and then have 4 days off. It's really not a good combination on time sensitive routes.

Anyway, I did this for 2 years and then I took a route that went to Georgia twice a week for almost 2 years. After this I was on whats called the extra board. With the economy bottoming out, upper management had to make changes. They eliminated loads by combining them, putting more stops on the trucks. In some cases it more than doubled the amount of stops going out on a single truck and it eliminated teams. This allowed them to lay some drivers off. Luckily I had enough seniority to dodge the 2 rounds of layoffs but not enough seniority to have my own routes. Being on the extra board sucks in so many ways it can't be described. You are always on call, you can't make plans with family or friends, you can't do anything other than sit by the phone and wait for them to call...or not. I can't tell you how many times I've argued and fought with them over this because you aren't getting paid to sit at home and wait for a call that may or may not come. There were many times, seems almost daily I was ready to quit.

Last October we got a new account and they did a temporary re-bid. I was the #2 guy on the extra board so I got with the #1 guy and we were able to put some scraps together and get a route. It wasn't a great route, long hours and fairly low pay but it was a schedule.

This morning started a new route bid that will last for a year. When I came back from vacation, I found that I had made the bid. I'm the second to last pick so I'm not expecting all my loads to be great but I should be able to pick 1 good load, 1 decent load, and 1 shitty load. I could be wrong and end up with 3 shitty loads but who knows.

I'm shooting for 3 loads, Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. That will give me Tuesday night off with my wife, Saturday (or Sunday) for me to enjoy my hobby, and Sunday (or Saturday) to spend with my kids.

I've tried to get my kids interested in my hobby but it involves 2 things that neither of them like very much...being outside and physical activity. Kids these days...but that can be another post for another day.

My time to place my first round bid is 8:45 tomorrow morning...wish me luck.